Whenever you are depressed, feeling low.. then play rewind your marriage video.Β 

Priceless advice:


Whenever you are depressed, feeling low.. then play rewind your marriage video. 

You will be happy again.

Your wife will take off garland from your neck, sit back in car and will return to her mother’s home.

You will also come back to your house dancing. 

πŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸ»πŸ’ƒπŸƒ

Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges

Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor & decided to go to a quiet place to share the lot equally.

 One of them suggested the nearby cemetery.

 As they were jumping over the gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn’t bother to pick them since they had enough in the bag.

 Few minutes later, a drunkard on his way from a bar, passed near the cemetery gate & heard a voice saying: “One For Me, One For U, One For Me, One For U”…..

 He immediately sobered up & ran as fast as he could to a church nearby, for the priest…………………..

 “Father, pls come with me . Come & witness God & satan sharing corpses at the cemetery”……

 They both ran back to the cemetery gate & the voice continued: “One For Me, One For U, One For Me, One For U’…………

 Suddenly, the voice stopped counting & said:

 “What About The Two At The Gate?”………..

 You should see the marathon………

The priest almost ran pass the church gate shouting:”We Are Not Dead Yet oohh!!!”.

 …. Now U’re laughing… .


In some workplaces Perfection is a Habit, not an Attitude!!

Apparently,the  American Computer Giant IBM decided to have some parts manufactured in Japan as a trial. In the specifications, they set standard that they will accept only three defective pieces per 10,000 pieces.

When the delivery came to IBM there was a letter accompanying it.

“We, Japanese people, had a hard time understanding North American business practices. But the three defective parts per 10,000 pieces have been separately manufactured and have been included in the consignment in a separate package mentioned — ‘Defective pieces as required; not for use.’

Hope this meets your requirement.



In some workplaces Perfection is a Habit, not an Attitude!!

A local business was looking for office help.Β 

A local business was looking for office help. 

They put a sign in the window, stating the following: “HELP WANTED. 

Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer. ” 

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. 

He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. 

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, “I can’t hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type. ” 

The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, “The sign says you have to be good with a computer. ” 

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time. 

By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, “I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can’t give you the job. ” 

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. 

The manager said, “Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual “. 

The dog looked at the manager calmly and said “Meow “.”

A nonsurgical noninflammatory chat with the appendix

A nonsurgical noninflammatory chat with the appendix Interview done by Srt.😜

Name    :  appendix

Surname   :vermiform

Popularly 

called   :      vestigeal 

                    Organ.😒

Address: mcburneys point, right iliac fossa gated community.

Cell numb:ask the pathologist 😝 for cell numb and type.

Email id :24hours-spain@aahh.abdomen.in

(  password:  I think is fecolith😝  )         

             

facebook status:married to miss o.appendix (mesoappendix)

Watsapp group:adorable abdomen

20members.

Admin…liver.

Fav music:bowel sounds

Fav dance:persistalsa (intestinal salsa dance😜)

Fav tv show:grays  anatomy (very romantic😝😷)

favourite indoor game:hide n seek . Sometimes I hide beneath the liver n in the pelvis to confuse the radiologist .but they hav discovered a cat which can find me there too….CAT scanπŸ˜ͺ.

Fav subj :maths.

I keep counting the follicles in the ovary, fimbria of the fallopian tube n villi of the intestine.

Fav outdoor game: free style swimming in  formalin solution.

Nature:silent but wen I fight I become red with anger (appendicitis)

And can even create tsunami in the abdomen (peritonitis) and send the owner of the abdomen to motuary n then to obituary .😜

One last message to the viewers:save us from the serial killers ( ie from the  gen surgeons.)