Crude SMS Jokes

→ Kiss's r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's unless they r tasted, kiss's spread germz + germz hated, so kiss me BABE im vacinated!

→ How many letters are in the Alphabet?? Nineteen. Because ET went Home on a UFO and the FBI went after him!

→ last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky.... then I thought where the fuck is my roof??

→ mary had a little lamb,its name was little ralph,its burnin in a field right nowcos its got foot and mouth

→ What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
Some traffic signs say stop

→ This is your mobile operator and we just found out you are too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it . Thank you

→ what did the blondes womens left leg say to the blonde womens right leg? don't know they never met!

→ Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry
370HSSV 0773H

→ This time im sure about wat i feel & im gonna say it
i
i l
i lo
i lov
i love
i love y
i love yo
i love young girls with Shaven Pussys!

→ Mary had 2 little lambs their names were Jack and Gypsy. One day they got foot and mouth and now they're black andcrispy.

→ Group of sheep in field, one says i dont feel well. The others reply shut the fuck up your get us all shot.

→ Your teeth are so yellow, ican't believe it's not butter!!!

→ Your birthcertificate is an apology letter from thecondom factory.

→ Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.

→ Mary had a smelly minge with pubes as dark ascharcoal.So most the men go round the back and stick it up her arsehole!

→ mary had a little lamb she also had a duck, she put them on the mantlepiece to see if they would fuck!

→ whats the difference between a mini tampon..a middle tampon and a large tampon?....they r all stuck upcunts!

→ sex is like maths: Add the bed, subtractclothes, divide the legs...
and MULTIPLY!

→ how do you keep an idiot in suspense ??? ............. ............ ...tell you later !!!

→ At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 million are in gun fights 91milliom at a party and one sad fucker is reading this SMS

→ farmer Joneshas got no sheep,
isn't life a drag?
coz they're all burning in a field
he's got no sheep to shag

→ *Newsflash*
The FA have just announced gary gliter the next Englandcoach.
The appontmentcollapsed after he tried to put seaman in the under 15's

→ ba ba white sheep grazing on sum grass when a maff official shoots it up the ass burnt by mornin fumes fill the sky less meat 4 kebabs & shepherds pie

→ !!News flash!!
Indian earthquake kills 50 000!
USA sending food.
Australia sendingclothes.
britain sending ... ... ... Replacements