Cute Facebook Status

→ Passing gum in school like its a drug deal.

→ Stupid people are awesome, they make life interesting.. :)

→ Watching A Horror Movie.. *** 2 hours later... ``Dude, Walk Me To The Bathroom..`

→ "Yes mum, I`ve cleaned my room" "No mum, you can`t have a look".

→ Meowing back at a cat when it meows at you.

→ One spelling mistake can destroy your life. A Husband sent this to his wife: I`m having a wonderful time wish you were her.

→ A chicken crossed the road and met James Bond, `What`s your name?` asked the chicken, `Bond, James Bond. Whats yours?`, `Ken, Chick Ken.`

→ I wanted to send you something sexy but the mailman told me to get out of the postbox.

→ Just remember... if the world didn`t suck, we`d all fall off.

→ Girl: Mummy? Mum: Yes Dear.. Girl: Is santa Chinese? Mum: emm...no dear...why? Girl: because my doll says made in china!

→ "Hey can i have a sip?" "Sure." * GLUG GLUG GLUG.* "Dude, what the hell?"

→ Whenever i can`t find something,it just magically appears when my mom looks!

→ When life gives u lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate!

→ I didn`t fall... I attacked the floor.

→ "You just..." "No, I didn`t." But, you..." "Nope." "But I saw..." "You saw nothing."

→ Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together.

→ Texting a person in the same room as me, then staring at them until they get it

→ If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, i`d never be bored again. (:

→ we all have that bestfriend who we greet with an insult.:)

→ Everything`s funnier when you`re not allowed to laugh.

→ Money cant buy happiness . . . but somehow, its more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle.

→ Don`t bother putting your hand over my mouth to shut me up... I will lick you.

→ You hate drama? Cool. Stop starting it.

→ Pretending to die in front of your pet, just to see how they would react.

→ Why do we need algebra? Finding X is only useful if you`re a pirate.

→ I am thinking ...I AM STILL THINKING why the hell Im thinking anyways its not my cup of tea

→ My alarm clock is jealous of the relationship I have with my bed :)

→ It is really hard to wait for the right person in life. Especially when The wrong ones are damn attractive!

→ The worst thing about sunday is knowing tomorrow is monday :(

→ When i was little i used to fall asleep on the sofa and wake up in bed, now I pass out on the sofa and wake up on the floor!

→ All my life, I`ve been saying duck tape, not duct tape.

→ Panicking when your finger gets stuck in something stupid.

→ LIKE IF: when you`re having a drink, and the ice cubes suddenly attacks your face

→ Yelling "run forest, run!" when you see someone running.

→ There`s always that one person that catches you doing something weird.

→ I Am not lazy, I`m just highly motivated not to do anything.

→ I`m not single, I`m just romantically challenged.

→ Truth or Dare? Dare.. No I`m not doing that.

→ I am a ninja.. No you`re not.. Did you just see me do that? Do what? ... Exactly.

→ Wishing your dog could talk.. Then thinking about the things you did in front of him.

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