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Dirty SMS
☻Man
Teases his ex-wife's new husband: So, dude how
was the second-hand stuff?
New husband: Not bad. After the first 3 inches,
she was brand new.
☻Whenever
u feel low, depressed or useless, remember that
u r the same sperm that won a battle against a
million others.
☻Blonde:
I think my tits are full of water.
Doctor: How do u figure that?
Blonde: Everytime a guy squeezes them my pussy
gets wetv
☻Q:
What's the definition of indefinitely?
A: When your balls are slapping up against her
ass, you are in.....definitely.
☻Cricketer
describing a nude girl:
There is no cover, there is no extra cover,
there 2 silly points, 2 fine legs & a deep
gully, with little grass on the pitch.
☻What's
the geographical definition of sex?
It's an action done by Pol-land into Hol-land
between Thai-land, occasionally with a little
help from Greece!
☻What
is invisible sex?
A male Negro fucking a female Negro under
moonless night in a coal mine wearing a black
condom.
☻Q:
Does penis deserve overtime & hazard pay?
A: Yes! Coz it works in deep, damp, hot tunnels,
often head down & mostly in night shifts!
☻UR
msgs r like a Girl's Period, comes once a month
for 3-4days & disappears. But My msgs r like a
Man's Sperms that come Daily or Twice a Day. So
msg like a Man.
☻Prof
teaching muscle movement, asks a lady: Do you
know what your asshole does when you have an
orgasm?
Lady: Sure, he's at the office, working!
☻A
woman who arouses a man and leaves is called a
Cockteaser. What is a man who does the same
called?
A Moisturiser.
☻Our
love will never become cold and hollow unless,
one day, you refuse to swallow.
☻A
prostitute's nursery rhyme:
One two lets screw,
Three four I'm a whore,
Five six suck the dick,
Seven eight ejaculate,
Nine ten fuck me again.
☻A
friend like u is not like boobs coz everyone
sucks them. Not like vagina coz it tears. You r
like a penis coz it always stands when needed.
☻A
man was fucking a nurse. She shouts: Aah it's
painful.
Man: Kamini, daily u r injecting me where I
don't hv hole, I'm putting it in ur hole & u say
it hurts
☻3
men sitting in a cafe, all wanking.
Waitress: What the fuck are you all doing?
One points to a sign that reads: FIRST COME,
FIRST SERVED!
☻Happiness
is like penis; always looks small if u hold it
in ur hands but when u learn to share it, u'll
realize how big & precious it is!
☻Latest
product in the market: George Bush condoms ideal
for fuckers who dont know when to pull out
☻Q:
Who's senior: Penis or Vagina?
A: Vagina, because penis always stands up in its
honour.
☻They
have found a new position in the Karma Sutra.
It's called the 'plumber'...
Two of you stay in all day and no f*cker comes!
☻Women
r the best Engines: Accepts any size of Piston,
are self Lubricating, start up with a Finger,
automatic oil change every 4 week.
☻Sex
poetry: It's not the length, it's not the size,
it's not how many times u can make it rise. It's
not how well it fits, but how late it spits
☻Skoda
recently launched a new car model LAURA. All
drivers are having a tough time when theor
Memsahibs say: Driver Laura Nikalo!
☻Little
Girl: Mom, I just found out that the boy next
door has a penis like a peanut.
Mommy: U mean it's small?
Little Girl: No, it's salty.
☻Man
gives blood to save his girlfriends life. Later
on they split up & man wants blood back. She
throws a used tampon at him & says: Pay u
monthly, u bastard!
☻The
first day at the London sperm bank was pretty
unsuccessful. Only three men made appointments
and, of those, one came on the bus and the other
two missed the tube.
☻All
eggs in women decided to fight against sperms.
They waited with guns in the pussy. That night
no one came. Suddenly 1 shouted: Hamla Peeche se
hua hai...
☻What
is Long & Hard, has a hole at the tip and when u
insert it into a wet, hairy & tight hole makes u
feel better?
Vicks Inhaler
☻When
u don't know whether to luv or hate, when u r in
confused state, don't feel and don't debate,
just sit alone & ...... MASTURBATE
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