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is…
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too cool for school.
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constantly evolving.
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intelligently designing.
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the dude, playing the dude, disguised as
another dude.
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a day late and a dollar short.
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eating a PB&J sammich.
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the kid next door’s imaginary friend.
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trying to think of clever things to say after inhaling from a helium
balloon.
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flossing with angel hair pasta.
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creatively disabled currently.
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preparing for a meeting with Chuck Norris. What should I WEAR??!?!
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watching some dude and some chick fight to tell someone else what
not to wear.
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definitely not watching what not to wear.
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definitely not watching oprah.
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selling my roomates $hit on eBay.
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forcing my dog to learn how to google.
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teaching the cat how to be a ninja.
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about to mail my check for $1500 to nigeria for the $15million
lottery i just won! Cya later SUCKAS!!
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watching every matrix followed by every star wars followed by every
LOTR. Which incidentally adds up to exactly 24hours.
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snail mailing a snail. Just to say I did it.
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sexual healing.
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eating pizza but not the italian kind.. the taco bell kind.
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one day older than I was yesterday.
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crying for no particular reason other than the fact that my cat
spontaneously combusted!
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happy that you finally broke up with that slut. Now I can tell you
VIA facebook update that I boinked her.
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kissing a girl and may or may not be liking it.
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mediocre at best.
Has…
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zero tolerance for lactose intolerance.
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> $20 in my bank acct. Drinks on you homie.
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20/20 hearing!
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a giant hangover octopus stuck to my head.
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run out of time on my parking meter.
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google’d and google’d until my little paws hurt.
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ninety nine problems however, a biotch is not currently one.
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just added a friend I don’t even know.
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noticed your mother has been calling me a lot, wondering whats that
about?
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just bought a cadillac, throwing some D’s on that bitch.
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actually won the nigerian lottery!
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puked more than twice today.
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sold the dudes car who keep parking in my spot on eBay. SUCKA!!!
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made my car into a hybrid by siphoning gas out of your tank.
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noticed that your looking a little fat lately, you should really do
something about that.
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seen pictures of you naked on the internet.
was…
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asleep until you just called me… ass!
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watching football when it just hit me, football is extremely gay.
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dancing with the stars.
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drunk dialing but luckily my mom stopped me. Thanks MADD (motha’s
against drunk dialing)
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googling pop tarts. God I LOVE POP TARTS!
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snorting salt… Don’t, it stings.
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watching 2girls1cup and now i am puking.
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scouring youtube for the naked videos that somehow make it through.
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listening to the latest britney spears record…….. i mean…
definitely not listening to britney spears.
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