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Indecent Jokes
☻
This sms can only be read by a SEXY person:
Try again...... Nothing? Sorry, i guess your
just not SEXY..HEY! dont force it, ugly git!!
☻
Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid
to see her.
☻
Ive got a tongue that'll blow ur mind let me
hit u wid a 69 kiss me, caress me, slowly
undress me I may seem defenceless, but baby I
can fuck u senseless.
☻
Don't be sad... don't feel blue... Frankenstein
was ugly too...
☻
Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and
a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means
tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty
means IT'S SHOWTIME!
☻
I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in
my room, on my bed & lights is off & we get
under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new
watch tat glow in the dark
☻
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy
boob? If we don't get some support people are
going to think we're nuts!
☻
Why are women like parking spaces?... Bcoz
the good ones are always taken and the rest are
all disabled!
☻
A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come
on over, there's nobody home." I went over.
Nobody was home
☻
According 2 Chinese Docs, a WoMaN'S BoDy HaS
Five RooMS: 1.FACE-show room 2.BOOBS-play
room 3.TUMMY-store room 4.VAGINA-men's
room 5.ANUS-emergency room
☻
Hi i'm an alien i'm checking for some chicks
in your phonebook searching..... searching.....
searching..... sorry no chicks found.
conclusion, your are gay!
☻
RECIPE 4 LUV CAKE:spread legs,squeeze +
massage milk pots,check frequently with
midfinger,add banana,work in-out till well
☻
I once had a One2One with a virgin, she
teased me till i had an Erikson, sucked me till
my face went Orange, till busted my Siemen all
over her Nokias!
☻
Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore, Humpty
Dumpty blew on the floor. All the kings horses &
all the kings men, laid the slut down & fucked
her again!
☻
NEWSFLASH:) Earthquake in Pakistan...50,000
dead...U.S.A sending money, France sending food,
Britain sending replacement paki's!!!
☻
i went for a walk with my uncle jim, when
somebody threw a tomato
at him, tomatos dont hurt i replied with a grin.
they fucking well
do when theyre still in the tin.....
☻
Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous,
good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny,
well...Enough about ME! How about you?
☻
Beat me bash me bite my bum, ill whip u
strip u til u cum, suck me fuck me lick me out,
pull my nipples til i shout
☻
Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my
eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy
that cows can't fly!
☻
sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temtation, putting his location in a woman's
destination. Do you understand the explanation
or do you need a demonstration?
☻
BOY : May I hold your hand ??
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy
☻
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me
a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
☻Advantages of breast milk
A. No need to boli
B. Cat cannot steal
C.available in attractive containers
D.Liked by all age groups
E.Ek Par Ek FREE
☻23 useless things in a man's body
20 nails cannot be hammered
2 balls u cannot throw
1 cock cannot crow
Don't laugh gals ur pussy cannot catch mouse
|
☻Cocktail |
Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d
brandy dat makes u randy,Is it d gin dat
makes u slip in,Is it d rum dat makes u cum! |
|
☻Triplets or Twins |
I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in
bed and see who wins! |
|
☻satisfy a woman |
HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN; caress, excite,
cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease,
pamper, console, worship, respect & love.HOW
2 SATISFY A MAN; blow job
|
|
☻Life is like a dick |
Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it! |
|
☻Rainbow |
Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum
marvelous fun, Zippy got silly,popped out
his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum! |
|
☻Love & War |
LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow
the shit out of you! |
|
☻Little Girl |
When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat
upon my bed & put a finger in,now im a woman
& full of grace & charm,I can get 4fingers
in & HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!! |
|
☻Virginity |
Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and
it's gone forever! |
|
☻Question Time |
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur wall?
A)walnuts
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chest?
A)chestnuts
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chin?
A)a mouth full of cock! |
|
☻The Truth |
QUESTION)Wots the difference between ur job
& ur girlfriend?
ANSWER)ur job always sucks!!!!! |
|
☻Pringles |
Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you
pop, you can't stop!! |
|
☻Marriage |
A man woz arranged 2 b married!He had a
choice of 3 women!1st woz a rich docter,2nd
woz a poor cleaner & 3rd woz a
prostitute!WHO DID HE PICK?The 1 wiv big
tits! |
|
☻Getting Old |
U NO UR GETTIN OLD IF
1)if ur age woz ur shoe size theyd b a mile
long
2)doin it 5 times a nite means gettin up to
piss
3)the only way u get a 69 is playin bingo |
|
☻Baby
Please |
Of all the babes ur my selection,please dont
giv me a rejection,my teeth are clean for ur
inspection,so giv my mouth a tongue
injection! |
|
☻Pair of tights? |
HOW MANY ANIMALS CAN U FIT IN A PAIR OF
TIGHTS? 10 little piggies,2 calves,1 ass,1
pussy,1 beaver,loads of hares & 1 smelly
fish! |
|
☻Sex+drugs |
Sex+drugs+rock+rave,lets get drunk &
misbehav,on weed+speed +little e's,well get
drunk & talk 2 trees,u only live once & den
u die,so fuck em all & lets get high! |
|
☻Men like toilets |
Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS
1)dey r always out of order
2)dey stink
3)the nice ones r always engaged
4)dey consume large amounts of liquid
5)r constantlt full of shit! |
|
☻Mary's bush |
Mary Mary, quite contrary, trim that pussy
its too damn hairy!!! |
|
☻Horny |
Roses are red, voilets are corny, when i
think of you babes it makes me so HORNY!!! |
|
☻5 bad things |
5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY
1)so dis explains ur car!
2)but still work,right?
3)r u cold?
4)shood i get a pump?
5)so i guess dis makes me d early bird! |
|
☻Hickory, dickory, dock |
Hickory, dickory, dock,dis bitch woz suckin
me cock,da clock struck 2,i dumped me goo,&
dropped her at da end of da block |
|
☻Mary had a little lamb |
Mary had a little lamb,she kept it in da
backyard,wen she took her panties off,his
wooly dick got hard! |
|
☻Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater |
Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater,had a wife &
liked to beat her,smacked her twice around
da head, Fucked her arse & went 2 bed! |
|
☻Being a student |
Being a student is so much fun,wen u have
degrees in playin wiv tongues,if u be my
teacher in how tongues flex,we'll both
graduate in hot oral sex! |
|
☻Down on her Knees |
Shes down on her knees,Eager to please,Wiv a
throb of his nob in her gob,Wiv a tingle in
his belly,his legs turn to jelly cos shes
doin a fuckin good job! |
|
☻Cat and the Sausage |
A cat tries 2 get a sausage out of a
river,but gets its paws wet,then it sees a
bigger 1 but falls in!MORAL OF THE STORY?The
bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy! |
|
☻Oral sex |
Oral sex can b so fine,wen u do a 69,u start
2 shake,moan & quiver,den u cum just like a
river,den u lick it up in vain,wipe ur lips
and start again! |
|
☻Mary's bike |
Mary
had a little bike,she rode it bak 2
front,all the time the wheels went round the
spokes went up her cunt |
|
☻NewsFlash |
*NEWSFLASH* Tell ALL your female friends
that i can get 1000 tampons for ?1, No
Strings attached but for a limited period
ONLY! Its A bloody good deal !
|
|
☻Nutella |
I love
when you stick your little fingers in me
deep and lick it all . Love always , Nutella. |
|
☻U and
the Pope |
do u
know what's the diference between U geting
laid, and the pope geting laid?? if the pope
gets laid, it's a sin, and if U get laid,
its a miracle!! :) |
|
☻Old
Days |
in
days of old wen knights were bold + condoms
wernt invented they tied socks around their
cocks + people like u were prevented. |
|
☻Sex,
Drugs + Birthcontrol |
Sex,
Drugs, Rock and Roll
Speed, weed and birthcontrol,
lifes a bitch, then u die,
so fuck the world
lets get high..
|
|
☻Kiss
Me |
Kiss's
r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's
unless they r tasted, kiss's spread germz +
germz hated, so kiss me BABE im vacinated! |
|
☻How
many letters |
How
many letters are in the Alphabet?? Nineteen.
Because ET went Home on a UFO and the FBI
went after him! |
|
☻My
Roof? |
last
night I lay in my bed looking at the
beautiful stars, the moon and the sky....
then I thought where the fuck is my roof?? |
|
☻Foot
and Mouth |
mary
had a little lamb,its name was little
ralph,its burnin in a field right now cos
its got foot and mouth |
|
☻Blondes |
What
is the difference between blondes and
traffic signs?
Some traffic signs say stop |
|
☻Operator |
This
is your mobile operator and we just found
out you are too dumb to use your phone, so
please put it on ground and start jumping on
it . Thank you |
|
☻Blonde
Womens legs |
what
did the blondes womens left leg say to the
blonde womens right leg? don't know they
never met! |
|
☻This
Way Up |
Pleas
turn your mobile phone upside down now!!!
Hurry
370HSSV 0773H |
|
☻I love
you |
This
time im sure about wat i feel & im gonna say
it
i
i l
i lo
i lov
i love
i love y
i love yo
i love young girls with Shaven Pussys! |
|
☻Mary's
Lambs |
Mary
had 2 little lambs their names were Jack and
Gypsy. One day they got foot and mouth and
now they're black and crispy. |
|
☻Sheep |
Group
of sheep in field, one says i dont feel
well. The others reply shut the fuck up your
get us all shot. |
|
☻Butter |
Your
teeth are so yellow, i can't believe it's
not butter!!! |
|
☻Condom
factory |
Your
birth certificate is an apology letter from
the condom factory. |
|
☻Yo
Mama |
Yo
mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid
to see her. |
|
☻Mary
Stinks |
Mary
had a smelly minge with pubes as dark as
charcoal.So most the men go round the back
and stick it up her arsehole! |
|
☻Mary's
Duck |
mary
had a little lamb she also had a duck, she
put them on the mantlepiece to see if they
would fuck |
|
☻Tampons |
whats
the difference between a mini tampon..a
middle tampon and a large tampon?....they r
all stuck up cunts! |
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