☻Yo Star Trek nerd so hairy she make Chewbacca look like Jean Luc Picard.

☻Your house is so disgusting that I tripped over a rat, got bitten by a tarantula and to top it off - the cockroaches nicked ma wallet...

☻I saw Yo mama at the freak show petting the world's largest wilderbeast.

☻I could have been Yo daddy, but the gorilla in front of me in line didn't use a condom.

☻If yo Momma n Poppa got a divorce, heck, they'd still be Brother and Sister

☻Yo mama's so fat that when she walks across the living room, the radio skips

☻I got on the train last night - they had a new sign up reading - "Maximum Occupancy: 200 Patrons OR Yo Mama"

☻Yo grannie's so fat, on each of her butt cheeks she has "Place Your Ad Here" printed.

☻Yo mama's a stunt double for the Predator

☻Yo mama is so bad, when she got called for jury duty she was found guilty.

☻Yo sista so fat that she gets runs in her Levi's

☻Yo mama's so fat, she ain't on a diet, she's on a Triet - She's all like - "Whatever yo eating ... I'll try it!"

☻Yo Mother in law's so fat, she was floating in the Atlantic ocean and Spain claimed her as a New World.

☻Yo mama's so fat, she gobbles down Cookies as if they were tic-tacs

☻Your moma's so stupid she thinks a 17 inch Admiral is a well hung sailor.

☻Yo mama's so large, she went to get an all over tan and the sun burned out...

☻Your mamma's so fat, the body snatchers called home for backup.

☻Yo AOL buddy so stupid when the Computer said 'Press any key to continue', she phoned support complaing she couldn't find the 'any' key...

☻Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest in India.

☻You mama's so daft she thought Chubby Checkers was a game for fat people.

☻Yo Cousin so stupid that when I said I was going to Thailand she asked me if they still sold Kippers....

 

☻Your so ugly even the Elephant Man makes jokes about ye!

☻Yo Nana so ugly she didn't get hit with an ugly stick, but with THE ugly log.

☻I was speaking to your parents - they told me you was such an ugly baby they had to feed you with a slingshot.

☻Yo' kid brother so hairy, when I took him to the zoo the gorillas went ape shit thinking I had stole one of their babies...

☻Yo mama only got 1 finger and runs around stealing key rings.

☻Yo auntie Ethel's so toothless, it took her an hour to eat minute rice.

☻Yo mama's like the new AOL 7.0: Fast, fun, oh so easy and you get 100 hours FREE

☻Yo brother's mouth so damn enormous, he speaks in Dolby surround sound!

☻Yo girlfriend's hips are so big, folk set their drinks on them. Your Noggin's so damn big you gotta wash yer hair in the Niagra Falls...
 

☻Yo Mama's so freakin nasty, I talked to her over the PC and she gave me a virus.

 

☻Yo mama's like a pirate, there she blows
Yo mama is so fat she has three shirt sizes, jumbo, humongus, and "OH
MY GOD IT'S COMING TOWARDS US!!"
 

☻Yo mama so poor i saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing she said moving.
Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed with her to see how long she slept.
Yo mama's so damn stupid on a job application it said "sex" and she wrote Monday wednesday and sometimes friday.
 

☻Paris and Rico walked into the locker room holding his side and bending over. Paris says "ow man im so sore" Dario asks " whats wrong?" Paris replies " man yo mama was rough last night" Rico adds " she needs to loosen up"
 

☻Yo mama such a dirty whore that they're having to paternity test the whole state of Texas just to find out who yo daddy is!
 

☻Yo mamma so old that in the back seat of your car, kids don't say 'Are we there yet', they scream, 'Is she Dead yet!'
 

☻Yo mamas so hairy wen u were born u almost died of rugburn
 

☻Yo mama smells so bad, when she went to make friends with a skunk, the skunk got hit by a truck on purpose!
 

☻Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a bathroom and nearly pissed her
pants

☻Yo mama so fat her logo is "we are family, burger king, mc donalds and
me..."
 

☻Yo mama so fat she has all the food caterers on speed dial
 

☻Yo mama is so big she tripped over wal-mart and landed on target and evey time she passes by the t.v. i miss a seoson of friends
 

☻Your mommas so old someone told her to act her age and she died
 

☻Yo mama so poor that when i stepped on a cigarette she cried, hey, who turned off the heater.
 

☻Your sister is so ugly she reminds me of your mom.
 

☻Yo mamma so ugly, yo daddy would rather kiss her ass before going work everyday
 

☻Your moms so ugly the mailman mistacked her as the dog.
 

☻You mama so fat she stepped on an airplane and it turned into a submarine
 

☻This is a fact, yo mama's breath Is wack, she needs a tic, not a tac, but the whole damn pack
I don't mean to be mean, but yo mama needs listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole damn bottle.
 

☻Yo Mama's teeth are so yellow, cars slow down when she smiles!
Yo Mama's breath is so bad, she made a tic tac run away!
 

☻Your jokes are so corny that the corns on your toes got jealous.
Yo mama so ugly when she looked out the window she was arrested for 1st degree murder.
 

☻Yo mama like a fast food restaraunt - quick and easy!!!
 

☻Yo moma is so fat when it rains she uses a highway for a slip 'n' slide
 

☻Yo mamma so damn fat that when she traveled back to the dinosaur times and she took a step the dinosaurs said what the hell is happing...oh shit its a real damn earthquake.
 

☻Your mama so stupid when she saw a kid dress as a devil in halloween she thouth she was in hell
 

☻Yo Momma's so ugly, even Sloth from the Goonies wouldn't date her.
 

☻Yo mama like a shotgun - five cocks and shes loaded
 

☻Yo Mamma so damn ugly she makes Anne Ramsey look like J Lo.
 

☻Yo' mamma so ugly she got arrested for vandalizing a mirror shop.
 

☻Yo mama so stupid she put a peep hole in a glass door
 

☻Yo mama like nascar - two rubbers and shes ready to ride.
 

☻Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind man cry!
 

☻Yo mamma so old, fat and hairy, that when she took you to the zoo the zookeepers thought a silverback Gorilla had abducted you!
 

☻Yo mama so fat, that when u were born, they had 2 send out a search party to find ya!
 

☻Yo mama soooo ugly, she works as a double for Saddam Hussein.
 

☻Yo moma so stupid if she would to speak her mind she would be speachless

☻Yo mama soooo poor she can't even pay attention!

☻Yo kid brother so damn ugly that the kids at school have started saying, "Hey Gollum, give us your autograph"

☻Yo mama so0o0o fat, one day she walked out with a yellow rain jacket on and the children began yelling, "Hey, the School Bus is here!"

☻Yo mama so0o0o fat, she takes baths in the Atlantic Ocean

☻Listen buddy, your mommy is so freakin dumb that if you told her pappa was a rolling stone, she'd tell her momma to put mick jagger on child support!

☻Yo Momma so damn fat the Police where going to use her as an emergency air mattress when Michael Jackson started dangling his baby.

☻Hey, yo momma so damn fat when her beeper goes off people turn around to see if she is backin up!!

☻Yo moma so fat when she wears a yellow rain coat all the people yell "taxi"

☻Yo mama's so damn fat that when she was kidnapped her face covered every side of the milk carton!

☻You so ugly when a friend walked you into school the teachers said sorry no pets aloud!

☻Your Mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the super bowl.

☻Yo Mama's so damn ugly that she turned your dad gay.

☻Yo mama's so bald, Mr. Clean got jealous.

☻Hey, your Momma is so sluttie I'd call her a hoe but hoes' get paid.

☻Yo Mamas so damn greasy that she has to use bacon for a bandaid.

☻Yo' mama so dumb she got locked inside Matress World and slept on the floor.

☻Yomomma so hairy that when she puts her arm to her side it looks like she has Don King in a headlock.

☻Yo mama so stupid that she got stabbed in a shoot out.

☻Yo mama so fat that when she went to sea world the little kids ran away and told their parents that a whale escaped.

☻Yo' Mamma is so fat she uses a VHS as a beeper!

☻Yo mama so stupid she sat on the tv and watched the couch.

☻Yo' Mamma is so fat she uses a VHS as a beeper!
 

☻Your mama's so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

☻Yo Mama so damn old she used to Gang Bang with the Flintstones and had an affair with Captain Caveman.

☻Yo mamas so fat she shoved a battery up her ass and yelled "I got the Power!".

☻Yo mama so stupid and clumsy, she got tangled in a cordless phone.

☻Yo mama soooo fat, she put on a yellow dress and the kids thought she was the school bus.

☻Yo' Sista's just like a like a Popsicle - everybody wants a fuckin lick!

☻Yo Mamma's so hairy she just got an armpit trim and lost 20 pounds!

☻Yo Moma sooooo ugly, I could have been yo Daddy but the dog beat me under the fence!

☻Yo momma is soooooo stupid, she wears a t-shirt that says "hukd on fonicks woorkd fo mi"

☻Yo mam like a screen door - after a couple of bangs she tends to loosen up.

☻Yo mama is so fat she sat on a rainbow and made Skittles!

☻Yo mama so stupid she puts a ruler on her pillow to see how long she slept

☻I heard that Yo mama is on the warpath - she lost a finger and now can't count past 9...

☻Yo mama so nasty when she masterbates, she gets arrested for cruelty to animals.

☻Yo mama's blind and is seeing another man.

☻Yo mama's glasses are so damn thick she can see into the future.

☻Yo mama's so old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.

☻You gotta tell yo moma to stop changing lipstick color - I'm now getting a freakin Rainbow on my d**k!

☻Yo sista so damn stupid on her last job application where it said 'Sex?' she marked "M, F, and occasionally on a Thursday too.."

☻You' big brother so damn stupid that on his last job application, under emergency contact he put 999 (911).

☻Yo mam is so stupid - I just aks her about her X-Men and she said: "Well, my first baby's daddy was Jimmy...and I still see Johnny on Fridays...."

☻Yo Grannie so stupid she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.

☻Yo Mother in law's teeth are so yellow, Dorothy and Toto thought it was the Yellow Brick Road.

☻Yo Momma's like a Snickers bar - packed full with with nuts.

☻Yo ex-girlfriend's like Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped.

☻Yo mama's like a race car driver...she burns a lot of rubbers...

☻Yo Auntie just like the Suez Canal - Vessels full of Seamen passing through everyday...

☻Yo gilfriends's afro so damb big, when the bitch got in my car everyone thought I had tinted windows.

☻Yo Mama ass so huge she take up 5 rows in the cinema...

☻Yo Papa's so short, he tried to commit suicide with a pin.

☻Yo Grannie's so enormous that when she went to the drycleaners to hand in her underwear, they put up a sign - 'NO PARACHUTES ALLOWED'

☻You Biology teacher so freakin stupid she thinks that DNA is the National Dyslexics Association.

☻Yo' best friend so idiotic she thoughtt Menopause was a button on her walkman.

☻You Momma so fat and stupid that her waist is bigger than her I.Q.

☻Tell Yo' girlfriend my Dog wanna know how much he owes her for last night...

☻Yo' papa so damn strange that he invented a water-proof teabag.

☻Yo mother in law so bald that when she put on a sweater, folk thought she was a roll on deoderant!

☻Did you know flies were given wings so that they could beat yo mama to the dump?

☻I heard yo house was made out of bog paper - why? cuz your whole family full of crap!

☻Yo kid brother so fat and ugly Peter Jackson offered him the part of the Cave Troll in lord of the rings

☻You Nose so damn big that we use yer snotters as Footballs.

☻Yo Momma so mad that she even made Kurt Russell escape from LA.

☻Yo Nana so ghetto she washes paper plates.

☻Oi, yo need to tell you mama to stop wearing the blue lipstick...I got balls like a smurf now!

☻You so skinny, you turned sideways and disappeared.

☻Yo mama's so bald, when she braids her hair, it remind me of stitches.

☻Yo Mama so fat when she steps on a scale it reads "One at a time, please".

☻Yo mama so fat and stupid that she was fired from Forrest Gump cuz she kept eating the box of chocolates.

☻Yo Sista so fat the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts.

☻Yo Mama so poor that she uses tumbleweed as a Xmas tree.

☻You Mommy so hairy she's got afros on her nipples.

☻Yo' mama breath so disgustingly bad that she needs Freshmints with batteries in it

☻Yo Papa's like an old arcade machine - toss in a quarter and you can play with his joystick.

☻Yo mama such a bitch, she interned for Clinton.
 

☻I told her drinks were on the house...so she went and got a ladder...

☻she make Homer Simpson look like a Nobel Prize winner

☻she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Cif.

☻she noticed a sign reading 'Wet Floor'...so she just did!

☻it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

☻when you were born, she looked at your umbilical cord and said, "Wow, it comes with cable too!"

☻she asked for a refund on a jigsaw puzzle complaining it was broken.

☻she got locked in the Quickie Mart and nearly starved to death.

☻she sold her Car for Petrol cash!

☻she reckoned a Quarterback was a refund...

☻she once attempted to commit suicide by jumping off a Kerb.

☻she leaves tell tales signs she's been using my computer - white out (tipp ex) is on the screen.

☻she took a job cutting grass on an Oil Rig.

☻I found her peaking over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

☻it took her 2 days to make Microwaveable Pot Noodles.

☻she invented a silent car alarm.

☻that when you stand beside her you can actually hear the ocean

☻she really thought the cinema was selling Free Willies...

☻she watches The Three Stooges and takes notes.

☻she was born on Halloween and can't remember her birthday.

☻she thought Morning Dew was a New York radio station.

☻she lost her shadow.

☻she went to a Whalers game to see Kiko.

☻she somehow got fired from a Blow-Job

☻she thought Hot Meals were stolen food.

☻she make Laurel and Hardy look like Nobel Prize winners.

☻when I asked her to purchase me a Colour TV she asked me...'Which colour?'

 

☻Anything Yo's - So Damn Stupid...

☻Yo Poppa so stupid he studied for a Dope test!

☻Yo Postman so stupid that on his recorded delivery form where it says 'Don't write below dotted line', he puts 'OK'

☻Yo teacher so stupid she booked herself into the Bettie Ford clinic cos she thought she was Hooked On Phonics.

☻Yo Boss so stupid he bought everybody in the department solar powered flashlights incase of a blackout...

☻Yo Business associate so stupid he thought Gangrene was another golf course.

☻Your Kid Sister so damn stupid she put your puppy in the oven to make a Hot Dog.

☻Yo' Sister is so insanely stupid that last week she asked me to go to the lost and found with her when she missed her period.

☻Yo Dentist so stupid he uses mayonnaise as tooth filler

☻Yo Sister so dumb that she thought Taco Bell was Mexican phone company.

☻Your Grandpa so achingly stupid he think Beirut is a famous baseballer.

☻Your kid bro so stupid he try to strangle himself with his mobile phone.

☻Yo Minister so stupid he gives Sermons on Genesis....Phil Collins old band...

☻Your Kid sister so damn stupid she stands up on an empty School bus.

☻Yo Mom so stupid that Oxford had to change the definition of Dumb...it now read: Dumb(n) - yo' Mama

☻Yo Burglar so stupid he broke into yo house and stole food stamps

☻You cousin so stupid I told him to take out the garbage...so he moved house...

☻Yo Bus driver so stupid that she went to Disneyworld, saw a sign that said "Disneyworld Left" so drove home.

☻Yo Politics professor so stupid he ask George W Bush to guest lecture on Government 101.

☻Yo' accountant so darn stupid he thinks a Quarterback is an income tax refund.

☻Your Computer Repairman so stupid he picks up your floppy's with magnets

☻Yo Mother-in-law so stupid, she won first place in the Dan Quale spelling contest

☻Yo Archeology Professor so damn stupid they have to dig for her IQ!

☻Yo Girlfriend so stupid, she teaches night classes at Stupid College.

☻Yo' Father in law so idiotic that he took a spoon to the superbowl.

☻Yo Sister's so stupid she could trip over a cordless telephone.

☻Yo Dog walker so stupid he took yo pet dog to the Clippers game to get him a haircut

☻Your Big Sister so god awfully stupid that they had to burn her school down just to get her out of 3rd grade.

☻Yo Father's so freakin stupid he has 1 toe on each foot, yet he just bought himself a pair of flip flops.

☻You Grandma's so stupid when I tell her it's chilly outside, she goes to fetch a bowl.

☻Your Grandpa so freakin stupid he sent me a fax with a 1st class stamp on it!

☻Yo BT Telephone repairman so freakin stupid he asked me what the number for 999 was...

☻Yo girlfriend so stupid when her Apple Mac says 'You've got mail" she runs outside to wait for the Postman

☻Yo Uncle so astonishingly stupid that he thought Nestle Cheerio's were a new type of Donut Seed

☻Yo Auntie so dumb her weekly shopping list consist of 1 item - 'Hundreds and thousands'

☻Your Dog's so stupid he bury's his own tail

☻Yo mama's so stupid, wait...she had you didn't she!

☻Yo Mother in law so stupid I saw her in Safeway's frozen food section with a fishing rod

☻Yo Uncle so stupid...heck, he marry your Auntie for christ sake!

☻Yo Priest so stupid I saw him worshiping at the feet of David Copperfield

☻Yo Reverand so stupid he asks David Ike for advice

☻Yo Grannie so dumb she go to the 24-hr convenience store and asks what time do they close...

☻Yo Mother in law so hellishly stupid, that Tony Blair is considering making dumbness a crime, punishable by lethal injection.

☻Your doctor's so stupid he uses his mp3 player as a stethoscope

☻Yo Mama So Ugly

☻she put the Boogie man outta business.

☻she make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt

☻when she wobbles down the street in September, folk say, "Damn it, can't believe it's Halloween already..."

☻when she applied for the ugly contest they told her 'NO Professionals'

☻she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure!

☻minutes after she was born her Mother shouted 'What a treasure!" and her Poppa said "Yes, now let's go and bury her..."

☻they push her face into the dough mixture when making Monster cookies.

☻when they took her to the Beautician it took 10 hours....and that was just for the quote!

☻yer Daddy takes her to work each day so he doesny have to kiss her goodbye...

☻she put Marilyn Manson out of business.

☻she was a guard at Snake Mountain

☻they knew what time she was born cuz her face stopped the clock...

☻even Harry Knowles refused to date her.

☻they embalmed her face on a box of super-strength laxatives and sold it empty!

☻she gets 364 extra days just to dress up for Halloween.

☻Tony Blair moved Halloween to her birthday.

☻you papa throws the ugly stick and she goes fetches it every time.

☻she scared the stitching outta Frankenstein.

☻we had to tie a steak round her neck so the dogs would play with her.

☻I heard yer Father first met her at the Zoo.

☻her shadow gave up.

☻people at the Zoo pay cash so they DON't have to see her...

☻her mom had to be Pissed drunk just to breast feed her.

☻when born, the doctors had to fit her incubator with tinted windows.

☻hotel managers use her picture to keep away the Rats.

☻instead of round the ankles, they put the Bungee Jumping cord round her neck.

☻they gave her a middle name...'accident'.

☻she fell out of the Ugly Tree, hitting every branch on the way down.

☻when she walked into the Haunted House, she came back out with a Job Application!

☻even Slicky Willy Clinton refused to sleep with her...

☻when she was born the Doc smacked her face.

 

☻Anything Yo's - So Ugly...

☻Yo Poppa so ugly he turned Medusa to Stone.

☻Yo Postman so freakin ugly he made the guard dogs shit themselves.

☻Yo Dentist so ugly they don't need anasthetics

☻Yo Boss so ugly people go as him for halloween.

☻Yo Priest so ugly that he have to give his Sermon from inside the Confessional Box.

☻Yo Teacher so ugly when she walks into the Building Society they turn off the CCTV cameras.

☻Yo Sister so Ugly that George Lucas cast her in Star Wars 3 as Jabbas wife - without the need for a costume.

☻Your kid bro so ugly that for Halloween he tricks or treats on his mobile phone!

☻Your Kid sister so damn ugly that when she sits on a sand dune at the beach, the cats try to bury her.

☻You cousin so ugly that when he threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.

☻Yo Driving Instructor's so ugly he has to wear a ski-mask when teaching.


☻Yo Mother-in-law so ugly, she won first place in the Wookie lookalike contest.

☻Your Girlfriend's so insanely ugly that I can screw her in any position and it's still Doggy-style!

☻Yo Girlfriend so ugly they put her in the Chimp enclosure to stop the Chimpanzee's from jerking off!

☻Yo' Father in law so ugly that his American Express card left home without him...

☻Yo Sister's so ugly that she must been conceived on the Motorway - ain't that where most accidents happen?

☻Yo Dog walker so ugly that he once took your Mutt to Crufts and WON - oh, the dog came second...

☻Your sister-in-law so god awful ugly that Durex want to use her as a poster child.

☻Yo Father's so ugly his hairline ain't receding...it's his hair that's running away from his ugly noggin.

☻You Grandma's so Ugly her Shrink makes her lie face down on the couch.

☻Your Grandpa so freakin ugly that when he gets up in the mornin, the Sun goes down.

☻Yo' Mum so ugli that even Prince Charming refuses to kiss her - he'd rather live as a frog.

☻Yo older sister so ugly that Mommy had to feed her with a fishing rod.

☻Yo Uncle so astonishingly ugly that whenever he comes over and goes to your bathroom, the toilet flushes.

☻Your Dog's so ugly as yo Momma that I had to shave its arse and make it walk backwards...

☻Yo mama's so ugly, hold on....you got a mirror handy???

☻Yo Mama's sister so ugly that Blind men refuse to have sex with her.

☻Yo Uncle so ugly, Spielberg wants him in Addams Family 3

☻Your kid so ugly the Doctor is STILL smacking his ass.

☻Yo Mother in law so hellishly ugly, that president George W Bush is considering making ugliness a crime, punishable by the electric chair

☻Yo Momma's so ugly that she hurt my feelings...

☻Your doctor's so ugly she manages to give Freddy Kreuger Nightmares!
 

☻Yo Moma So Old

☻she left her purse on Noah's Ark.

☻Jurassic Park brought back the memories...

☻when she ran the 100 metre dash, they timed her with a sundial.

☻she still owes Moses a dollar.

☻