Miscellaneous SMS Messages

→ Stress is when you wake up and realises that you haven't slept yet.
 

→ Reality is an illusion that is born out of shortage of alcohol.
 

→ I want to live in Switserland where the mountains are higher than the taxes.
 

→ Join the army, meet interesting people and then ... kill them...
 

→ All of you who believe in psychokinetics, raise 'my' hand ...
 

→ Lots of people stop working once they found a job!
 

→ I am still single, my parents-in-law were not able to have children.

→ Being nuts or crazy is inheritable, you get it from your children.
 

→ The fact that there are 'intelligent' extraterrestrian creatures is proven by the fact that they did not contact us yet.
 

→ I said no to drugs, but they did nog listen!
 

→ 10.000 new jobs ... all tax inspectors?!
 

→ Mistakes have been made, others will be punished.
 

→ As long as they pretend to pay me, I pretend I am working.
 

→ I started out with nothing... and I still have most of it!
 

→ 3 monkeys escaped from the zoo ... one was caught watching tv ... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message
 

→ My mother-in-law walks 5 miles every day... I wonder where she'd be by now.
 

→ Like a rose withers, so is our relationship withering ...
 

→ Keep the school clean ... stay home!
 

→ Be quiet in the classroom, respect the fact that others sleep!
 

→ We do have to go to school ... Have to is force ... Forcing is slavery .... Slavery is forbidden ... SO ... we do not have to go to school!
 

→ The word HELLO means: H=How are you? E=Evrything alright? L=Like 2 hear from you! L=Love 2 see you soon O=Obviously I miss you..SO, HELLO
 

→ No boys no love, no love no sex, no sex no people, no people no school, no school no problems
 

→ That is how a triatlon has been invented : go swimming on foot and coming home by bike.
 

→ The IDEAL man does not smoke, does not drink, does not flirt, goes to bed early, in short ... does not exist
 

→ It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give.
 

→ It's the soul afraid of dying ... That never learns to live
 

→ It's the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the change.
 

→ It's the heart afraid of Breaking ... that never learns to dance.
 

→ Secrets, they only last long enough to break you down
 

→ Life is beautiful if you are willing to see it
 

→ A bra is a thing that keeps up what would hang down otherwise ...
 

→ When my father broke in to my mother I had to sit there for months!
 

→ Boys say it's great, boys say it's fine. 9 months later they say it's not mine !
 

→ Teachers help you with problems that you would not have if they were not there.
 

→ I am in seventh heaven, the other six do not want me.
 

→ Women are like hurricanes! When they come they are wet and heavy. When they leave they take your home and your car ! !
 

→ No one ever died because of hard labour, but I think :"why would I take the risk?"
 

→ I love working. I can look at it for hours.
 

→ We used to listen to the Doors, now we have Windows.
 

→ Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
 

→ Computers are machines to help you solve problems you wouldn't have if you didn't have a computer.
 

→ Life would be a lot easier if I had the source-code.
 

→ Life is like a nose, you have to take out what is in it !
 

→ You need 60 muscles to be angry and 20 to smile why would you make things difficult?
 

→ My thoughts wondering off, I am always everywhere.
 

→ I intended to become rich while sleeping, but I could not fall asleep yet.
 

→ It is better to have one bullet in the hand than ten in the back.
 

→ Nok nok. Who's there? ..... Marie ...... Marie who? ...... Marie who wanna...!!
 

→ Wanna get stoned? Drink wet cement!
 

→ Umm...your .... ZIP is open...
 

→ Reality is for people who can't face science fiction.
 

→ Idiot (id-ee-it) n.- One who disagrees with you.
 

→ How do frogs die ? They Ker-mit suicide.
 

→ Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good myself.
 

→ I'm not as dumb as you look.
 

→ If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.
 

→ What do I miss about my wife? Her absence.
 

→ Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.
 

→ Linus is like a wigwam,no windows,no gates and an apache inside...

→ Q: Why is a racist like a drunk?
A: Cos whatever they say ends in a slur.

→ Q: What's the difference between a racist's house and a porcupine?
A: With the porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.

→ Q: Why didn't the racist cross the road?
A: He was afraid of the other side.

→ Q: How does a racist pick his nose?
A: From the mail-order catalogue.