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Pick Up Lines
☻Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
☻I'm bigger and better than the Titanic ...
only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
☻I'm good at math, U+I=69
☻I'm trying to determine after years of
therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm
allergic to sex.
☻If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U
and I together.
☻If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put
you between F and CK
☻Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling
tic-tac's.
☻Please help the homeless. Take me home with
you...
☻Wanna come and see my Hard Drive? Babe, I
promise you it ain't 3.5 inches and it sure
ain't floppy.
☻What's a nice girl like you doing with a face
like that?
☻Will you be my Xmas cracker? I'd really like
to pull you.
☻Would you like to come to a party in my
toolshed?
☻You are a 9.999. Well, you'd be a perfect 10
if you were with me.
☻You're good at mathematics, right? Would you
say 69 was a perfect square?
☻Your Daddy must have been a Baker, cos you
got the nicest set of buns I've ever saw.
☻Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
☻Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a
living?
☻Baicarumba...are those real?
☻Be unique and different, just say yes.
☻Can I flirt with you?
☻Damn girl, you have more curves than a race
track.
☻Do you know karate? Cos damn it honey, your
body is really kickin.
☻Excuse
me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body
Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you
to assume the position.
☻Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do
they open?
☻Greetings and salivations
☻Honey, I'm new in this town - dya think I
could have directions to your house.
☻I hope you know CPR, cos you take my breath
away!
☻I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ...
what say we tie up for the night?
☻I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do'
list.
☻If you don't wanna have kids with me, then
why don't we just practice?
☻Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met
before?
☻That outfit would look great in a crumpled
heap next to my bed.
☻Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be
illegal to look that good.
☻Do you know, your hair and my pillow are
perfectly colour coordinated.
☻I know a great way to burn off the calories
in that cake you just ate.
☻I wonder what our children will look like.
☻I'm wearing Revlon colourstay lipstick. Wanna
help me test the claim it won't kiss off?
☻If I received a nickel for everytime I saw
someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five
cents.
☻If you were a car, I'd wax and ride you all
over town.
☻If you were a laser, you'd be set on
"stunning".
☻It must be cold in here - or are you just
happy to see me?
☻Since sex is a killer, would ya like to die
happy?
☻That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of
it?
☻The only thing your eyes haven't told me is
your name.
☻There gotta be a keg in your pants, coz I
wanna tap that ass.
☻There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom
said I couldn't go by myself.
☻Was your Father a mechanic? Then how did you
get such a finely tuned body?
☻You're so hot, your ass is on fire.
☻Hello. Are you taking any applications for a
boy/girlfriend?
☻I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my
pickle.
☻Grab yer bag Doll...you've just pulled...
☻I'm fighting the urge to make you the
happiest lady on earth tonight.
☻If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.
☻There's just one thing your eyes haven't told
me yet....you're name.
☻Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole
the stars from the sky and put them in your
eyes.
☻What time do you have to be back in heaven?
☻Would you touch me so I can tell my friends
I've been touched by an angel?
☻You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half
nuts.
☻You
are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated
as your child so that I can breastfeed by you
until I'm 20.
☻You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me
crazy.
☻You must be a high jumper, because you make
my bar raise!
☻You're like milk, I just wanna make you part
of my complete breakfast.
☻Do
you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee
falling for you.
☻Do
you have a map? Cos Honey, I just keep gettin
lost in your eyes.
☻Do
you think I could borrow that dress sometime?
☻Girl,
you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through
my mind all day.
☻Got
two nipples for a dime?
☻Help,
somethings wrong with my eyes - I just can't
take them off you.
☻Hey
baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time
I see you, you turn me on!
☻Hi,
I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front
or the back?
☻I
think I feel like Richard Gere - I'm standing
next to you, the Pretty Woman.
☻I'm
sick. My medicine is to talk to you.
☻Was
you Father an Alien? Cos honey on planet earth
there's nothing else like you!
☻You're
eyes are bluer than the atlantic ocean and baby,
I'm all lost at sea.
☻You're
like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life!
☻You're
so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
☻Damn,
if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as
charged!
☻Do
you want to see something swell?
☻Do
you work for UPS / ParcelForce? I could have
sworn I saw you checking out my package.
☻Have
I seen you before? Oh, yeah, I remember - it was
in the dictionary under the word
FANBLEEDINGTASTIC!
☻Hey
I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your
chest?
☻Hi,
will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he
went into this cheap hotel room across the
street.
☻Hi.
I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to
explore Uranus.
☻I
have 4 words for you "Hol I Day Inn".
☻If
I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are
of getting head?
☻If
you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see
my Wookie.
☻Is
your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.
☻Screw
me if I'm wrong, but I could swear you were
Julia Roberts.
☻The
word of the day is "legs." Let's say we head
back to your place and spread the word.
☻You've
been a bad, bad girl (boy). Now go to my room!
☻Your
Daddy must play the trumpet, cos he sure made me
horny!
☻Do
I know you from somewhere, because I don't
recognize you with your clothes on?
☻Do
you believe in love at first sight, or should I
walk by again?
☻I
bet you $40 you're gonna turn me down.
☻I
know that Milk does the body good, but wow, how
much you been drinking?
☻I'd
like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
☻I'm
betting that you cannot wait until tomorrow,
because I bet that you get more and more
beautiful every day.
☻Save
a horse, ride a cowboy.
☻Seriously
honey, sex is like Pizza. Even if it bad, it
still pretty darn good.
☻When
I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning
memories, and think of the day my children were
born, the day I got married, and the day that I
met you.
☻Why
don't you come over here, sit on my lap and
we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
☻You
be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King:
if you treat me right I'll do it your way
☻You
know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not
in my case.
☻You
know the Power company is looking for you coz
you're so electrifying.
☻You
know, I ain't this tall. I'm just sitting on my
wallet.
☻You're
like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I just can't stop
ya
☻As you walk by, turn around
and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass?
No. Damn!
☻I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
☻Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes]
Take me home with you.
☻Do you believe in love at first sight, or should
I walk by again?
☻Do you have any Irish in you? (if no…) Would you
like some? (if yes…) Want some more?
☻Shall we talk or continue flirting from a
distance?
☻Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the
time to write down my number?
☻Do you know the difference between a hamburger
and a blow-job? [No!] Do you want to do lunch?
☻Do you know the essential difference between sex
and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs
and talk.
☻Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead
of from across the room?
☻I'm a frog but if u kiss me I'll turn into a
prince
☻Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate
and needed a name to go with the face.
☻Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you
want to be my friend?
☻For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.
☻Gee, for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
☻Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what
winks and screws like a tiger?" She says no.
Then wink.
☻Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction
of turning me down; go ahead say no.
☻Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all
night long, and think it's time to see if I'm
right.
☻Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say,
"Now that I've broken the ice, lets talk"
☻Nice dress, it'd look good on my bedroom floor
☻Hold out two fingers and say:
"Why should a woman masturbate with these two
fingers?" (I don't know.) "Cause they're mine
sweetheart."
☻I don't know what you think of me, but I hope
it's X-rated.
☻I have had a really bad day and it always makes
me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So,
would you smile for me?
☻I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly
beautiful you are!
☻If a women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the
time?" You should answer: "Yeah! Do you have the
energy?"
☻The only thing that matters is that we're
together.
☻I'msorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well
then, please start. .
☻Is there an airport nearby or
is that just my heart taking off?
☻Is you father a lumberjack Because when ever I
look at you, I get wood in my pants.
☻I've just received government funding for a
four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
☻Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
☻Say, did we go to different schools together?
☻The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to
my place and spread the word.
☻There must be something wrong with my eyes, I
can't take them off you.
☻Wait until the end of the evening when
everything is real hazy and alcohol soaked, walk
up to someone you've never met and say, "Come
on, we're leaving."
☻You see my friend over there? He wants to know
if YOU think I'M cute.
☻You know, you're very easy on the eyes...and
very hard on my erection.
☻Want to come into the garden see my big juicy
tomatoes?
☻Want to come into the garden see my big hard
cucumbers?
☻You are so beautiful that I would crawl ten
miles on my hands and knees through broken glass
just to jerk off in your shadow.
☻Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
☻Do you know what'd look
good on you? Me.
☻I'm bigger and better
than the Titanic ... only 200 woman went down on
the Titanic
☻I'm good at maths, U+I=69
☻I'm trying to determine
after years of therapy and lots of testing,
whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
☻If I could rearrange the
alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
☻If I could rearrange the
alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK
☻Is it that cold out or
are you just smuggling tic-tac's.
☻Please help the
homeless. Take me home with you...
☻Wanna come and see my
Hard Drive? Babe, I promise you it ain't 3.5
inches and it sure ain't floppy.
☻What's a nice girl like
you doing with a face like that?
☻Will you be my Xmas
cracker? I'd really like to pull you.
☻Would you like to come
to a party in my toolshed?
☻You are a 9.999. Well,
you'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
☻You're good at
mathematics, right? Would you say 69 was a
perfect square?
☻Your Daddy must have been a
Baker, cos you got the nicest set of buns I've
ever saw.
☻Hello. Are you taking any applications for a
boy/girlfriend?
☻I'll give you a nickel
if you tickle my pickle.
☻Grab yer bag
Doll...you've just pulled...
☻I'm fighting the urge to
make you the happiest lady on earth tonight.
☻If beauty were an hour,
you'd be a second.
☻There's just one thing your
eyes haven't told me yet....you're name.
☻Was your father a thief?
'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and
put them in your eyes.
☻What time do you have to
be back in heaven?
☻Would you touch me so I
can tell my friends I've been touched by an
angel?
☻You are like a candy
bar: half sweet and half nuts.
☻You are so beautiful
that I want to be reincarnated as your child so
that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 20.
☻You must be Jamaican,
because Jamaican me crazy.
☻You must be a high
jumper, because you make my bar raise!
☻You're like milk, I just wanna
make you part of my complete breakfast
☻Be unique and different, say
yes.
☻Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the
money?
☻Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so
far?
☻Hi. Are you cute?
☻I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it
intimidates me a little.
☻I'm easy. Are you?
☻I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest
woman on earth tonight.
☻I'm trying to determine after years of therapy
and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic
to sex.
☻Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean
much when you have a weak heart.
☻So....How am I doin'?
☻Do you have a boyfriend? No. Want one?
☻I think about you when I
masturbate.
☻Are we related? Do you want to be?
☻Can you say constantinople backwards? Me
neither, but I just wanted to ask.
☻Can you spell ICUP. I-C-U-P. You saw me pee.
☻Do you know how to use a whip?
☻Excuse me, do you live around here often?
☻Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and
needed a name to go with the face.
☻Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet
of garden hose?
☻Hey babe...can you suck start a Harley?
☻Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction
of turning me down; go ahead say no.
☻Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a
woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I
don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
☻I am very, very lonely, and I was wonderin'...
☻I know a great way to burn off the calories in
that pastry you just ate.
☻I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands
there.
☻I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
☻If I could be anything, I'd love to be your
bathwater.
☻Like the look of your crotch.
☻Pardon me but I was just about to go home and
masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if
I fantasize about you?
☻Pardon me miss, but I help noticing that you
have cum in your hair.
☻Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
☻Excuse
me, but I DO think it's time we met.
☻Of
course there's lots of fish in the sea, but
you're the only one I'd love to catch and mount
back at my place.
☻Hello.
Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs
my heart back.
☻How
was Heaven when you left it?
☻You
are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason
to shine.
☻Honey,
you give new meaning to the defintion of
'edible'.
☻I
think I can die happy now, coz I've just seen a
piece of heaven.
☻You
must be going to hell, because it is a sin to
look that good.
☻You
should be someone's wife.
☻Excuse
me, do you have your phone number, I seem to
have lost mine.
☻You've
made me so nervous that I've totally forgotten
forgotten my standard pick-up line.
☻Excuse
me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just
wanted to give you notice that I noticed you
too.
☻Is
your name Gillette? ...coz you're the best a man
can get.
☻If
I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I
would be walking through my garden forever.
☻It's
not my fault I fell in love. You are the one
that tripped me.
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