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→
Join The Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
→ I heard
Mayan calendars are selling like there's no tomorrow.
→ Say no to
drugs. Although if you're talking to drugs you may already be on drugs.
→ Would
like to buy Charlie Sheen for what he is worth then sell him for what he
thinks he is worth!
→ What’s
the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A
northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time…” A southern fairytale
begins “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shit…”
→ In my
day, we had My Space too. And it extended five feet in every direction.
→ I have
GREAT faith in the people of Japan, that they'll pull through and
quickly rebuild.... look how well they did with Godzilla!
→ Son, when
I was your age, our video game controllers were hard wired to the
console. And Mario had to walk uphill both ways to the castle.
→ Has
anyone even thought to look in San Diego for Carmen Sandiego? Think
about it, it’s a little *too* obvious. Which means it’s perfect.
→ Let it
never be said that Elizabeth Taylor failed to increase your knowledge of
FOXC2 mutations.
→ Lady GaGa
called Rebecca Black a genius... Lady GaGa is also an insane attention
whore. So it cancels itself out.
→ "Oops,
forgot to carry the one." - Harold Camping
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