Rude SMS

→ Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born smart & handsome, but what the hell happend to you?

→ This sms can only be readed by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!

→ How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

→ Hi, I am an alien and I'm checking for some chicks in your phonebook.. Searching.. Searching.. Searching.. Sorry,no chicks found! Gay? Conclusion: You Are Gay

→ How women think about sex:At 8 ignore it,Age 18 experience it,Age 28 look 4 it,Age 38 ask 4 it,Age 48 beg 4 it,Age 58 pay 4 it,Age 68 pray it,Age 78 4get it

→ 3 monkeys escaped from the zoo ... one was caught watching tv ... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

→ Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!

→ Are you free tonight, or will it cost me? I'm new in town, can you give me directions to your flat?

→ Your network tariff has changed! Call charges are now calculated according to brain size. The smaller the cheaper! Congrats You can make free calls!



→ How Dogs and Women are alike?

Neither believe that silence is golden,
Neither can balance a checkbook &
Both put too much value on kissing.

→ If I were to
make a dictionary
CUTE=you
SWEET=you
THOUGHTFUL=you
GOOD LOOKING=you
GORGEOUS=you
LIAR=me!

→ I bet when u go 2 de zoo u have 2 buy 2 tickets
1 to get in & another to get out


→ If ever I was rude to u,
If ever I was angry with u,
If ever I misbehaved with u,
then don’t hesitate,

JUST SLAP yourself

→ One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

→ Make love to ur girlfriend on Valentine day.
She’ll give u good news on Mothers day &
U’ll have a child on children`s day.
Don’t try this on everybody.
Coz U’ll have bad news on Dec 1

→ You don't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again you don't know the meaning of most words.



→ “LOVE” .What a heavenly thing, what a heavenly word….

but do u know what is LOVE?

L= Loss
O= Of
V= Valuable
E= Energy….

So don’t LOVE..


→ Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy? If you can't make me sexy, please make all my friends fat. Amen.

→ Old people used to annoy me at weddings by pinching my cheeks &
saying that you are the next.
They stopped doing that when I started doing the same to them at funerals!!

→ Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy? If you can't make me sexy, please make all my friends fat. Amen.

→ A child uses its thumb 2 chew,
an illiterate uses his thumb 2 sign,
a winner uses his thumb 2 show victory,
but a monkey is using his thumb 2 read this sms

→ Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over but when u pull a panty the show begins..

→ Today is the birthday of Donald Duck..
Wish him happy birthday and send this
sms to every cartoon as i did…..



→ Can we do romance in the evening today?
I’m in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting
reply me soon!
urs lovingly

“MOSQUITO”

→ A man said 2 his doctor 'everytime I look in the mirror I get an erection' the doctor said 'That's because u look like a cunt!


→ Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you.
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl’s empty,
And so is your head.

→ “CONGRATS” U have been awarded an M.B.A degree

For not Smsing me.

MBA means ‘Member of Bhikari Association’

Kindly forward it 2 all M.B.A’s.

→ When I was young I begged God for a bike, but God does not work that way... so I stole a bike and begged for forgiveness!


→ If ever in your life u r very sad n feel that u have lost everything,
I'll come, hold ur hand,
take u 4 walk on a bridge and show u where 2 jump from.


→ Nature is a miracle. One million years ago no one knew people would wear glasses but our ears are at the right spot

→ Kiss's r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's unless they r tasted, kiss's spread germz + germz hated, so kiss me BABE im vacinated!

→ Sorry! Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

→ There is hot sex, fast sex, group sex, safe sex, leather sex, telephone sex and for people wid a face like urs theres.............masturbation



→ From Moon to Sun, From Jan To Dec,
From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u
have never changed.

For me, you’ve always been…
a headache !


→ Can u pronounce good english:- read along woof,
roof, loof, shoof, shoof, woof, loof, roof,
poof, woof woof, hoof, woof, roof, shoof.

Test results: U r a good dog. Now stop barkin